…crockpot oatmeal...good morning delicious...

How does time go so fast...

My 12 year old daughter was on the phone last night with a boy.

An eighth grader.

A cute, blue eyed, blonde boy.

A 13 year old.

Did you get all that?

A 13 YEAR OLD.EIGHTH GRADE.CUTE BOY.

When the hell did that happen........

I couldn’t make this shit up...

I took a call today at work, that was typical of the crazies that I deal with on a day to day bases. It was a little old lady with a bit of a sing song-y voice with just a hint of Long Island accent.  She called last week and had given me a 15 minute (detailed) description on the books she had out and that she might not get them done before the due date and if they were late she would feel horrible and she loves to go to the fair and she used to have a little dog and she doesn’t get out much anymore and you see how this went.

Well, she called again today because, you guessed it, she did not get the books done. I told her I would be happy to renew them for her.

“Thank you sweet heart...I just know I won’t make it over there...I have something on my toe...I’m just not sure what it is..."

Man vs. Woman

Here is an example of our differences, vast though they maybe...

“Well that was fun, but shouldn’t sex last longer than a commercial break?"

“No, that’s the perfect amount of time."

“Really?"

“Yup, you get the job done and you don’t miss any of UFC, perfect."

From Hell...with tea

Today is my day, no work, no husband, no child. I do my chores in peace. I actually like doing laundry and futzing about the place.

I am watching bread rise and keeping the home fires burning.

Right now I am enjoying my tea and a scruffy Johnny Depp with an English lilt...heavenly.

He’s Just Not That Into You or You or You or You...

Men confuse me, for such a stupid species they are a complete enigma. They want anything they don’t have and then when they get it they want something else.

Men are pigs, truer words have never been spoken.

I just finished watching that movie, He’s Just Not That Into You and it was all so true.I could name 50 more movies just like it, yet we still love men, marry them and get our hearts broken by them.

There is so much of this crap out there right now, Tiger Woods, every politician on TV it seems is being caught in an affair. What do men think, do they even think.

Why would you hurt someone you have been married to for so long, who has been by your side through so many life altering moments. They say it’s just sex, but that is almost more insulting. That’s basically saying you ruined everything for nothing.

We marry the man we love. We swear to love them till death parts us. We get pregnant and carry their baby for nine months. We clean for them and feed them. We wash the shit skids out of their underwear and they fuck the first bitch that offers herself. What kind of conversation do you have with yourself that you tell yourself this will be okay?

Life is not a porn movie boys.

Fuck This Green Shit

I am all about saving the Earth. We have destroyed all that we had and we are hell bent on doing it quick, I get it. I recycle and turn of lights when I’m not using them, good for me.

I have a Sigg water bottle so I don’t fill the landfill with my plastic bottles. But, for the love of frickin’ God why can’t I take a drink out of it without giving my brain a fucking bath. I get a nose full of water every time! I thought Swede’s were supposed to be smart.