Dirty Old Man

I have talked many times about the crazy-as-shit people that come into my library every day and ask me for help with something or other. I also have several horny weirdos that come in just as often and have all kinds of love to share.

One horny patron in particular is about 95 years old and never misses an opportunity to say something about his erection (or lack-there-of) or his sexual prowess of long ago. He has even faked weakness so I would take his arm and lead him back to the fiction section, just so he could rub the side of my boob the whole way there.

Monday he came in and was in classic form. He had me find him a book that was "good for erections" and then started hitting on a woman at the front desk when she giggled at him. 

"What are you giggling at?  I am good at it, I am. You are never to old for sex you know."

She did her best to become invisible, but it was too late, he had his sights set.  He gave her his best come-hither look and then laid the most awesome come-on line I have ever heard....

"I have a lot of peaches and ice cream in my fridge. I'm just looking for someone to eat it with me."