Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Man in Black

I wore my typical post holiday outfit to work today, black pants and a black turtleneck.  I thought I was rocking it, you definitely couldn’t see the 4 dozen Christmas cookies I ate or the 2 batches (because 1 pound of butter, 1 pound of sugar and 1 pound of peanut butter just wasn’t enough) of peanut butter balls or the peppermint bark or the untold amounts of booze that was consumed during this joyful holiday season, Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

Until my daughter walked in from school today and took one look at me and said,

“Oh no, who died?"

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I am resolute about resolutions

It’s that time of year, the time where you are suppose to make promises to yourself about all the things you are going to change about your life. I hate making resolutions.  I always come up up with the same pat ones, lose weight, get organized, yadda yadda. This time I really wanted to think about it, to make some real changes.  You see, there are changes to be made.

I am fat, at least 30 pounds, my joints ache and I feel like an old woman.

My house is a mess, really dirty in the corners where it likes to hide.  Mainly because I am so fat, I don’t bend and scour like I used to.

So you see I could go with those pat answers, but I also drink too much, 1 or 2 glasses of wine a night is too much, it is the cause of my other problems.

My skin is bad and I look old.

I am also filled with an anger and hurt that I try to get past everyday and am not quite able to do.

I am mean to people, I am so filled with contempt and anger towards the public I serve everyday at my job. I know I am becoming less able to hide my feelings each day. I answers the same ridiculous questions over and over and it is getting to me.

I do need to make changes, I know it, and right after I finish this glass of wine and the candy from my Christmas stocking I will get right on it.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

The 24 Hour Woman

I guess multitasking and baking don’t really go together.  I tried warming up the kids lunch while baking a batch of cookies.  Now I have fresh baked cookies drizzled in pizza grease.

Fuck

This shit never happens to Martha Stewart.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

It rears its ugly head...

It is so depressing when a lovely day goes wrong. I had a plan in my head for today and none of it came to fruition.  I can’t figure out people sometimes, how can they be so self centered and rude and not even realize it. Or do they and they are so self absorbed they don’t even care.

Friday, January 1, 2010

A brand new decade...

Last night we partook of a little too much libation and laughter and today we slept it off with hourly naps.  But in between we also found time to watch a bunch of cheesy movies from the 80’s and eat the best smoked venison I have ever tasted in 40 years. Not a bad start to a brand new decade.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Ironic...

I got an iTouch for my birthday and a laptop for Christmas, but the gift that keeps on giving is the grumbling I get for actually using them.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Best Holiday Conversation of 2009

Me to the 12 year old,

“Are those Christmas stripes on your underpants? Too cute!"

“Mom, you got them, don’t you know what you picked?"

“I hate to tell you, but your father picked those all out."

“I am going to vomit...”